I just don't understand...

I just don't understand what I keep doing wrong...

I'm sorry isn't enough...

All my life all I try to do for people is make them happy. My therapist says I'm a people pleaser, and there's nothing wrong with it. The problem lies in the people that I try to please. Reciprocation - the act of returning the caring, kind feelings that you are given. Yeah, guess what Sam HARDLY gets? Exactly. It's so hard to just do-do-do for people all the time and only get a few things done for me in return from one or two of my friends. It's such a depressing time, high school. I haven't really found myself smiling because I'm truly happy. It's all a big show to get everyone off my back. & now it seems like no one really would care how I felt. Don't lie, face the facts. I'm tired of this bull crap everyone plays on me.

I have a pretty big love for Christ, and I know that he's testing me with all this. But I'm not failing the test this time.

So I guess I'm here to say I'm sorry to a lot of people..

I'm sorry I'm a baby.
I'm sorry I cared.
I'm sorry I tried to put my everything into being there for you.
I'm sorry I was there for you anytime of the day you needed me.
I'm sorry I made you angry.
I'm sorry I was worried when you didn't talk to me.
I'm sorry I made you cry.
I'm sorry I crushed your ideas.
I'm sorry I wasn't really ever in a good mood.
I'm sorry I tried to talk to you about my feelings.
I'm sorry I made you something you aren't.
I'm sorry I got in the way of your relationships.
I'm sorry I've ruined your life.
I'm sorry I broke my promise.
I'm sorry I believed your promises.
I'm sorry I betrayed you.
I'm sorry I'm rude.
I'm sorry I made you leave our family.
I'm sorry I yell at you.
I'm just sorry for everything.

I'm done saving everyone else from themselves.
I'm done saving me.

I'm done.

Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching.
Smile, even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow;
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness;
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near;
That's the time you must keep on trying.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life's still worthwhile
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.

Smile, though your heart is aching.
Smile, even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by.
That's the time you must keep on trying.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just...
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile.