Goodness

You know, so many things happen in high school, it is impossible for one's mind to come up with the words to explain. I have had many changes occur in these last few months, from having the best of times with friends, to losing friends, to having so much stress, to coming to the realization I'm probably going to lose my job, to school decisions, to finding the best of friends.

HAPPINESS
I get told by different people every once in a while to cheer up and be happy, because my life really can't be that bad. Let me just share a little bit of information with you. You live your own life very well. In fact, you live it so well, that people don't even know what goes on in your life, no matter how hard they try. You can't possibly understand someone else's hardships or rough times. Don't expect people to be happy all the time. It just doesn't work that way.

CHANGE
Change is something to get used to. Friends transition out of your life quicker than you can blink an eye. Depending on how fast it may be, you can go through grieving pains for those people, like the loss of a loved one. I experienced that. I had those occurences. Now that I've moved on from the situation and placed it on a shelf in a box, I can finally tell it wasn't worth it. I CAN TELL IT. I don't need people telling me everyday it's a bad mistake. Sometimes, people just change; other times, people are never who you think they are. Finding your true friends is always the hardest part.

LOVE
My father was and always will be a douche. I have never had someone to fill that, until now. I went on a weekend retreat in the beginning of March. It was AMAZING. I found a spiritual mentor, someone who loves me FOR me. You have no idea that kind of feeling you have from going to where it feels like no one loves you to having so much love your drowning in it. My friends whom I have shown love to in the past have suddenly started to love me back. Sure, it's now a smaller group, but I didn't really mind weeding out the rest. It's something you have to be prepared to do in life.