Perfect.

School has been my air here lately. The homework has been overwhelming and something that I'm not ready for yet. I can do it without a doubt. I just don't have the will power or the stamina to keep up with it. I'd rather be with my best friend right now. I haven't felt good all week, and I don't think it'll change for a while. I've constantly got a headache, my stomach hurts, and I find myself yelling at the most random people. I just want to get away from this place. I want to get away from all the hurt and the pain. I'm tired of seeing my father in the mirror. That's something Sam helps me with, getting me to focus on who I am, not who dad is. I don't even think Sam knows that he's doing that. I'm so ready for these next two weeks can pass, so that way I can go up to see his new house. I wait for that day with anticipation.

One of the Best Nights

I spent about 7 hours with my sister, Misty, last night. It was the first time that we really got to hang out all summer. That depresses me so much. At least we got to do something, though. We went to McDonald's, a scrimmage at my school, Hacienda, Wal-mart, then we had a nice chat in my drive way. Hah. It's pretty much a normal night with Misty.

I guess I had somewhat of a realization last night. Just because you're friends come and go in your life, and move for college or other reasons, may not mean that the friendship is over. You're true friends are the ones that will keep in contact with you, but you can't expect them to make the call each time. You have to do your part too. I guess that's something I need to keep in mind from now on. I'm so appreciative of all my friends who have stuck by my side in my time of need and your times of trials. I'll never forget you guys, ever.

I got the job

I'm sure every knows by now, but Sam moved to Rockville. He was working at Camp Brosend doing year-round maintenance. He obviously can't work there anymore, so that left the position open. This past week, I went in and worked as a temporary just to finish up the summer. I didn't officially have the job yet, even though it seemed like I did. When I was about to be off work on Friday, I got the news that the other person interested in the job turned it down. That meant only one thing, I was hired. Now there is Sam the Maintenance Man II, or my personal favorite, since there is already a Sam the Maintenance Man, is Sam the Handy Man. Ha ha.

(Note, There were two different Sams at camp. Samuel E Wake, and Samuel G Wathen. We both have the same initials except for the middle name. They couldn't call us Sam W, or Sam Wa, so the nicknames came in handy. Sam Wake was Sam the Maintenance Man before I even started there this summer, and I was in charge of pictures, video, sound, and PowerPoint, hence the name Sam the AV Man.)

That was my excitement for the end of the week. Now I must go and read my AP books.

A Real Added Treat

As if times weren't going rough as it is, one of my best friends moved to Rockville, IN, approximately 175 miles away. I know I probably vary the distance a little too much by exaggeration, but still, it's way too far. I've been required to come and visit him a lot, but this is hard. Especially with school and my hoped-for job. I will find a way, SAM WAKE, don't you worry. I guess it's just rough when I let him in on the biggest, deepest secret of my life during one of the most stressful periods of his life. It makes me feel guilty almost. It feels as if a chunk of me just fell off and ran away. I don't know why, but my heart is just saying stop, let go, give up on this. I only have few things to live for these days: Jesus, best friends, and select members of my family. Even my family is having problems. My aunt just had cancer surgery, for those that don't know, so my family really needs your prayers.

In the beginning . . .

I hate to say it, but since everyone else created one, I guess I needed one too. It does seem quite exhilarating, though, I must admit. I love the fact that I can vent somewhere else besides stupid Myspace and Facebook. The traditional sites are beginning to get quite dull.

Anyway, my life can get pretty hectic during the year. I get stressed way too easily and writing is my escape. I've gotten much better at it since freshman year, but I still have quite a way to go. I have a feeling AP Lit will get me through it, even though I'm dreading the class.

I guess this is all for the meantime. I have a lot on my mind right now, and not enough time to write it.